Animal Communication Aficionado Gifts

'Call me that one more time and you can find yourself another doctor!'

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'

"It get it – you're hungry."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"You don't whisper anymore."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"I have no thumbs."

I sometimes feel spotted, but I never really feel seen.

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

"Ever eat a bird?"

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

"Have you tried biting him?"

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"I think it loves us."

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

"Hold that thought, my love. I'm listening – I just need to pee on those daylilies."

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

"Are you happy with your current ball?"