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'And whatever happened to 'as quiet as a mouse'?'

'I keep hearing a buzzing in my ears.'

'The secret of my business success? Well, "Charge Ahead" I would guess...'

'I'd like to leave a wake-up call.'

Rich Cow: 'Gareth Gates'

Sheep walks into a room to find the other black sheep are playing a joke on him. The bucket on top of the door is filled with black liquid.

'This people patch you prescribed doctor, it isn't working!'

Follow England mate, they're always crap!

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"It's okay to be ambitious but do you dare to pee on my tree, Jackson!"

Dedication to excellence....

'This must be heaven, because you sure look like an angel....'

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

"There are two ways we can go here - bark or bite."

Marmalade with a snorkel in flamingos.

"So how long have you been working the business?"

"Next year we put the cats outside before we hibernate."

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

'If you really loved me, you'd stay downwind.'

"I like the idea of becoming a prosecutor: charging people appeals to me..."

"I think he just ashed on me."

'Have you noticed how the grass is always greener on the other side?'

"You can't say that to a customer!"

"I told you to stop biting your nails."

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

'I'm sure he thinks he's a parrot!'

"You're not in the gym Gary!"

'I worked briefly in a Fine-China shop, but it didn't work out...'

"I'm going to level with you, Tom. The rest of the marketing team wasn't sent upstate to live on a farm."

'Mum, she pulled my mane!'

"Why did you turn down the Easter bunny job?"