Animal Care Connoisseur Gifts

"...and the cast should come off in four to six weeks."

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

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'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

"What's all this?"

Dog Park Zoom

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

Dyslexic Cattle Ranch

'What's founder?'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate.'

"Sorry - my dog is at the vet. This one is a loaner."

A skinny dog drawn with zen brush.

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

'Who's next?'

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

Dog Sees Only Food

Being able to digest news quickly is a sure sign of intelligence.

"Watch his feet - if he doesn't step into the throw, he's going to fake it."

Doris was determined to save money on cat parlour fees!

"I'm down here, Mona. That's your slipper."