Animal Astrology Enthusiast Gifts

"I can only tell you what's in your future - it's up to you to chase it."

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

Planting by the Moon.

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

'Horoscope, stay indoors and keep your mouth shut.' 'So, no dentist.'

'We're an equal opportunity employer and we do not discriminate against sex, race, religion, age, or astrological sign.'

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

The Inner Dog.

'Fortune telling/retirement planning'

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

"As an astronomer, this discovery heralds a new golden age of academic fervor for mathematicians and astrophysicists across the globe. As a Sagittarius, I'm fucked."

You will awake to discover a dream come true.

"So, what is your star sign?"

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

Year of the Rat

Monster Horrorscopes

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."

I think the dolphin is my spirit animal! Unfortunately, it's likely mine is the sloth.

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

"I used to believe in astrology, UFO's, reincarnation, ESP, and all that stuff - in a former life, of course."

Documentation Please

"Eye irritation is quite common when Saturn and Jupiter are in this position. It's called conjunctivitis."

"You're doing great boy! Just don't bark."

"I'd be a lot more comfortable with a Pisces."

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

Al, you look nonplussed. I just heard that they discovered a new astrological sign, and my birthday now falls under the sign of the jackass.

'Yeah, I'm a trife scorpio - what of it?'

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.