Angelic Arguer Pillows

'Say that again and you're a dead man!'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"All we have left is standing room only."

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

The first microscope capable of seeing the number of angels dancing on the head of a pin.

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

'I caught one, I actually caught one.'

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, I wasn't kicked out! We had creative differences, that's all!"

"Who knew we'd be a desirable demographic?"

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

"If it isn't E mc2!"

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"Well, to be honest, I try to avoid reunions - my first four husbands are here."

'She's responsible for the smoking ban.'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

Heaven terms and conditions.

'Now THERE'S a friendship I've never quite understood. That's Ludwig van Beethoven on the left, with Harvey Fernquist, the inventor of telephone 'hold' music!'

Death of the pope.

"I loved the good old days, …. 'better dead than red'."

'Management says we've had it too good for too long. They're demanding concessions.'

"I get great reception this way."

"Which countries have you visited recently?"

Ad Meeting With God.

'I would have taken it with me but the Inland Revenue got it all before I left.'

'I see my wife made it in.'

'Talk about perennial doubt?'

"Somehow I thought we'd be done with all that."

"No prizes for guessing who's been sucking up to the boss!"

Insurance agents in Heaven.

'Actually we were hoping for someone on drums.'