Angelic Admin Humorist Gifts

"This is neither Heaven nor Hell. It's the private sector."

'T.M.I.F.'

"If you'd like to take a seat."

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

An amplified harp

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

"So much for eternal rest."

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

"I still hate you."

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

"I chair the safety committee here, but since we're all dead, it's largely symbolic."

Heavenly Take Out

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

Late Night TV

Showering angel has water bouncing off her halo.

"Look, I know you think you've got the stuff, but I'm telling you: walk God."

"Happens every time someone runs an electric can opener down there."

"Wait, there you are. I was spelling it wrong."

"Don't feed them! It makes them dependent."

"I guess they really are permanent."