Angelic Accountant Pillows

'I realize that this may be carping, but I never did live long enough to enjoy my I.R.A. account.'

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

'It's true that the meek were intended to inherit the Earth, Mr. Osgood, but we have you classified as 'apathetic.''

Branson space shot

"Fifty is plenty.". . . "Hundred and fifty."

"The first bill is always a shock-everyone thinks Heaven will be free."

'Bad news, fellas... it's inventory time.'

Rhinestone Accountant

'They're the angel of social conscience funds and his evil twin, greedy devil.'

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

"Better hurry it up on that 'Eve' project. Adam's been giving the eye to an orangutan."

'Mr.Shumway here is our visiting ethicist.'

'Eternity isn't bad, so long as they allow us to day-trade.'

"It has yet to turn a profit."

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

"I can't hit a bad note to save my soul!"

'I should have prefaced my advice with the statement that I'm not an expert on the market.'

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

Danger! Snake heaven.

'I realize this might be carping but I never did live long enough to enjoy my IRA account.'

'He's back! He just couldn't stand the idea of the stock market going up without him.'

'Even after death you must pay a tax - the sin tax, , ,'

'Uh oh. Here comes the eternal revenue... I hope your taxes are in order.'

"I remember behavior like that being followed by fire and brimstone."