Andy Murray Fan Club Member Pillows

"Have you considered the potential advantages of having a professional coach?"

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

"I am so attracted to you right now."

'Do you know the way to San Jose without breaking into a Bacharach number?'

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

The crew can no longer tolerate Captain Bligh's ruthless splitting of infinitives."

Captain Pointy No.38 - Fan club meeting a trap

"Tonight... Hemingway."

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

'Is it bad news, doctor?'

"Stand-up comedy." "On-your-knees-with-gas-pain comedy." "Please, God, make it stop..."

'My pitcher needs to get fired up by the home crowd. Pass the collection basket.'

Trilby - 'I believe you, my boy!'

"I'll get that. First go get me a glass of warm water."

"It's remarkable, Mr. Volmer. You have the clothes of a man half your age!"

A sheep shearing herself on stage - A sheep strip show

Interior Monologuist

'My woman, she gone and left me and took me 'SKY-TV' dish with her... No woman, no sky!'

'I heard he was funny.'

'They're a nuisance, but they keep the smaller vermin down.'

'I think if we were to pretend to be dumb, they would lose interest in us...'

'See, it's of a joke on it. I call it the 'Comedy Club'.'

'I hate idol gossip.'

The new heated seats were proving to be just a little too hot for the fans!

Custard Pies - Serving Suggestion

ABC Airplane Food Manufacturing Co: Supplying Lame Jokes To Comedians for 35 Years.

How to get boarded first at Montreal's airport...

"I see you met the author."

Lap Line-Dancing Club

"We've been having a lot of trouble with cross-dressers lately."

'Sir, why are you lifting up the carpet?'

Tuesday is empty thought balloon night.

Bob Dylan Fan Club