Ancient Wonder Watcher Gifts

Easter Island Model

Bird Torture.

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Hadrian's Wall

Goddess

Sphinx with nursing Sphinx pups

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

"I get it!"

"Thousands of years from now, men will marvel at this and wonder how we did it."

'It's just a calendar, who cares what it looks like?'

Museum.

Scary things in the museum

"They ruin the landscape!"

History Department

Stonehenge Imitation

''Willie the Wizard' gets out next week -- get ready to change all the locks.'

Woman meets up with guru: 'Oh, there you are, honey. Dinner's getting cold.'

"Look what I found. You wouldn't believe the things that people throw out."

Sand Pyramids

'Tut, you've outdone yourself this time.'

Archaeologist blows his nose on a mummy's bandage.

Archeologists found a set of 9.7-million-year-old teeth in Germany that might belong to a primitive relative of early man. Totally unrelated question: Are you missing any teeth, Sadie. That's funny. Speaking of which, there are many ways a person could lose teeth. Threats of violence aren't funny in 2018. That's like a rule. A good pummeling never hurt anyone.

'It was built by the ancients as a calendar. We know because each pillar has a kitten doing something really cute carved on it!'

'That's OK, I'm not offended: Hardly anybody knows the difference between a butterfly and a moth...'

"I may not have invented the wheel or discovered fire, but I am the first to comment visually on their impact on our lives."

Spudhenge

'Helen went on Facebook and launched a thousand ships.'

'It's a fantastic design, but I'm worried that after the games it'll just end up as a useless load of stone with no legacy potential.'

King: 'I said build me a stone HENGE you FOOL! NOT stone HENS!!'

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

'Intriguing how the eyes follow you round the room . . .'

'Are they called 'pyramids' because the Pharaoh used a pyramid scheme to finance them?'

Cats in Santa hats holding letters that spell out 'Happy Christmas'.

British Museum: "There's nowt British in there!"