Ancient Warfare Enthusiast Pillows

Castle: "Who is it?"

Attila the Horizontally Mobile

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

'Hey Dad, I've joined Hannibal's army...'

Modern Siege Warfare

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

Those Were The Days

'Evidently, one of them was a cartoonist!'

'But this is fantastic, professor! It's like no language I've ever seen before!'

"Here's the parking lot."

Egyptian chiropractor.

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

I came, I saw, I partied!

Romans.

Closed for Renovation

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

'Anti-Graffito' worker about to erase hieroglyphics.

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

Archeologists discover Egyptian Computers.

"There was a time when I used to instil absolute terror into everybody..."

'Barbarians at the gate? That's fine, I fully support social mobility.'

"The British are coming. Just sayin'."

'Where does this go?'

'I think scroll sounds better than 'continuous media,''

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

'This stuff is a snap for me. I used to be a pharmacist.'

"What's your earliest memory, Sadie?" "You can not get under my skin, loser." "Maybe I can help you figure it out: were people wearing powdered wigs, or were they wearing togas?" "Did they live in primitive huts, or in trees?" "I'm not listening!" "Were they standing upright, or swimming in a primordial sea?" "You're about to be swimming in primordial soup."

"Just a routine ID check, Mr. Spartacus - there are lots of people with the same name, you know."

Referees at the Original Olympics.

"Efficiency tombs available"

"I'm sorry. . . but I can't understand a symbol you're saying."

"Greece! Greece! Greece! Every day it's the same! Just the constant Greece!"