Ancient Battle Enthusiasts Pillows

'Oh no! not 100,000 Persians again! How many of us?'

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

Warrior Woman

Sundial Time

Epic Battles

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

'Barbarians at the gate? That's fine, I fully support social mobility.'

'I've got an amoeba here who wants to go to Officer's Candidate School.'

Dog TagsPeople Tags.

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

'Arnold, blow the whole depot, then hightail it out of here.'

Gym. Try our Boot Camp Classes. I was dishonorably discharged!

'That's a bad omen no sooner does he invent the wheel than he has the first ever road traffic accident.'

I told you not to touch its belly.

Small Ads. For Sale :- 'Navy Pram'.

Mummies for Dummies

'Actually, I find the destroying more satisfying than the nation-building.'

'My doctor tells me I have medal poisoning.'

Mythological Greek hero' Achilles' showing off his set of high-heeled shoes

'You know, I'm about to stop caring whether they're here legally or not!'

Mummy Mousehole

"It is a violation of air national guard policy for you to possess an AK-47 from Iraq, boy!! Do you want to suffer the consequences of bringing back a souvenir?!!"

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

"It's a great extra recruiting tool. Those who know they can't live up to that quickly disappear."

Roman paramedic.

Memo Mania

'We're going to wander in the desert for forty years? What about portability of benefits?'

'Lose those unsightly man boobs - JOIN THE US MARINES!'

Brooklyn.

'Why are they all picking on me?'

The Sphinx As A Child: 'If you don't stop picking that thing, it's going to fall off one of these days!'

"Hopefully I'll have enough frequent pillaging points after this trip to get a new sword!"

"Great News - we've secured an MOD contract to supply the Falklands Defence Force!"

"I don't know. I just don't think this 'bowling' thing will work."