Ancient Warfare Geek Pillows

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

"He conquered the known world - now all he's got is sudoku."

Stonehenge Explained

Atomic Bear: Part 14

'I can hardly wait for someone to invent paper.'

'Barbarians at the gate? That's fine, I fully support social mobility.'

They came...they saw...they conga'd.

Trojan hitchhiker tries to hitch a lift from the'wooden horse'.

D-Day landings of walking fish.

"Don't worry - if we double the minimum wage it will still be nothing."

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

'I'm inventing the wheel, and I'd like you to be my SPOKESMAN.'

Uncle Sam Caught In The Iraq Web

'Somebody got some sun.'

"How do you handle being a rock god?"

'Tennyson answers his country's call.'

'Actually, I find the destroying more satisfying than the nation-building.'

"What's a condom for?"

'It's a special delivery from 'Troys are us'.'

Britain in 410AD

"It's more efficient than hurling the things."

George Smith Patton

A grecian jug depicting a barber cutting the plum of a soldier's helmet

'You know, I'm about to stop caring whether they're here legally or not!'

Little known fact: Man progressed from the stone age to the bronze age after Thag read an issue of the Journal of Metals.

'How's your novel coming along?'

"We will go with the timber frame ones."

"Hopefully I'll have enough frequent pillaging points after this trip to get a new sword!"

"The internet is down again."

"Hey! I got a lot done in one day!"

How's my blitzkrieging?

History's forgotten, ill-fated siege of troy by mimes in a giant invisible box.