Ancient Trendsetter Gifts

"Granted it's not fire or the wheel. I'm just hoping to create a little fashion buzz."

"They're paleo shorts. All the guys are wearing them."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Bad hair day!

La Table

'She's so put together!'

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

'I want you to paddle against the current.'

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

Men's business romper.

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

"This is daring, but I like it."

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Absolutely not!"

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

A Macaroni in 1772

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

Keeping warm.

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

Rap music