Ancient Rome Aficionado Gifts

'Better put this on. . . health and safety.'

'One previous owner, used it to go to the baths once a week, may I be buried alive if I lie...'

"No wonder we could get tickets."

'Ever try beating a ploughshare into a sword?'

Intellectual property. Luckless Roman inventor who forgets to patent his creations is fed to the lions with the words 'Time to try out my lion repellent invention'

Why Rome Fell:'Peel you a grape? Don't you know that the skin is where all the vitamins are?'

Audiences at the coliseum were down after health and safety had paid a visit.

'Cesar loves to conker.'

Roman General asks 'Where is the bathroom?'

'oh my goodness!...We knew Hannibal had elephants but we just hadn't realised he was capable of launching them.'

"Think of your Curricula Vitae!"

'He's Spartacus! The one with the dimple.'

In the Lion's Den.

"We haven't had a pitch invasion for a while."

'Maybe they burned Rome to the ground just because Nero's playing was so bad?'

Constantine the Great

Luminous Sundials: Tell the Time in the Dark!

"Oh, boo hoo! While you're playing around the Coliseum all day, I'm stuck in this house!"

Repurposing the aqueducts of Ancient Rome.

'I have really gotten into this Roman History course.'

Robert Denarii: 'You talin' to me.'

Lions see the salad bar: That's new!

Bacchus.

"So then Brutus says, 'Nije to bila dama, to je bila moja zena'!"

'It's a good thing I love animals!'

"#EtTu, Brute?"

"It's just not the same, is it?"

Roma. I don't have ten wives. I said "ex-wives." not "X wives"! (Published originally on Jan. 6, 2015.)

"I'm really gonna miss Rome."

Janus 2021

A crying man wears a laurel wreath

"Well, at least he didn't get Secretary of State."

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."