Ancient Mysteries Buff Gifts

'Some day, people will wonder what these goal posts were.'

Tourists

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

Stonehenge Explained

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

The Fall of Gnome

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).

"Stanley, this is a historic moment. We've discovered the world's longest kiss. Guinness Book of Records here we come!"

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

"It's called 'Pizza maker scratching his knee.'"

'I'm not complaining or anything, but these are going to be really hard on our self-esteem!'

'Go home Daisy, the lions have got your spot!'

Mummy Shrink.

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

"My goodness, no! Grandfather would never, ever let us near this!!"