Ancient History Nerd Pillows

'Homerphobia'

They came...they saw...they conga'd.

Trojan hitchhiker tries to hitch a lift from the'wooden horse'.

"Don't worry - if we double the minimum wage it will still be nothing."

"What's a condom for?"

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

Skitty cast a dissenting vote when the council voted to bring the Trojan Dog inside the city.

"He conquered the known world - now all he's got is sudoku."

Tourists

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

'Einsteiners.'

"Have you been playing dice?"

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

'Yorick? No, I don't think so, unless of course he was a Neanderthal!'

'It's an extinction notice.'

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

Julius is writing a memoir of his youth, but doesn't know what to call it. "Caesar's Salad Days"!

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

'The dreaded Anachronisaurus strikes again!'

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

"I find that hugely offensive!"

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."