Ancient Accountant Gifts

'I only invented money last month, and I already have four payments due!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"Any questions?"

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

"I'm really gonna miss Rome."

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

"Looks like the high tech shares have taken another fall."

"Grog understand supply and demand."

Branson space shot

"The first bill is always a shock-everyone thinks Heaven will be free."

'One day son, all of this will be yours.'

"We can thank Hippocrates for changing healing from an occult art to a science."

"It's from the IRS. They demand full disclosure of all treasures laid up here."

'Parking is always such a problem in this city.

'So the cuts have started then?'

"Caesar walks in, we stab him, and the rest, as they'll say, will be history."

Excerpt from the writings of Euripides, Athenian Dramatist, 484-406 BC.

'Next time you pick me up lose the open plan galley.'

Accounting's poet laureate.

"Stuff history. We're going this way."

"Our plan has failed. The elephants of Hannibal are not frightened by our little mice."

"Very impressive. I see you majored in accounting and minored in creative writing."

"I'm their accountant. Trust me - I'm the one you want to get lucky with."

"Ted wants to bring the fan back into accounting"

'Even after death you must pay a tax - the sin tax, , ,'

'I realize that this may be carping, but I never did live long enough to enjoy my I.R.A. account.'

"Well, well, would you look at that. Fire. Talk about living beyond your means."

IRS - 'You had NO earned income last year?', 'That's what my boss said.'

'Is it ethically sourced?'

"Et tu, Brute?"