Ancient Accountant Gifts

'I only invented money last month, and I already have four payments due!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"Any questions?"

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

"I'm really gonna miss Rome."

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

"Looks like the high tech shares have taken another fall."

"Grog understand supply and demand."

"The first bill is always a shock-everyone thinks Heaven will be free."

Branson space shot

'One day son, all of this will be yours.'

'Put the teeth away. I'm the Audit Fairy.'

"We can thank Hippocrates for changing healing from an occult art to a science."

"Be careful - these things have consequences. Tax consequences."

"It's from the IRS. They demand full disclosure of all treasures laid up here."

"Sin tax? I love it."

'So the cuts have started then?'

Eternal Revenue Service. Now I understand why you can't take it with you.

"Caesar walks in, we stab him, and the rest, as they'll say, will be history."

'Parking is always such a problem in this city.

Excerpt from the writings of Euripides, Athenian Dramatist, 484-406 BC.

'Next time you pick me up lose the open plan galley.'

"Stuff history. We're going this way."

Accounting's poet laureate.

"I'm their accountant. Trust me - I'm the one you want to get lucky with."

"Our plan has failed. The elephants of Hannibal are not frightened by our little mice."

'Even after death you must pay a tax - the sin tax, , ,'

"Very impressive. I see you majored in accounting and minored in creative writing."

"Ted wants to bring the fan back into accounting"

'I realize that this may be carping, but I never did live long enough to enjoy my I.R.A. account.'

"Well, well, would you look at that. Fire. Talk about living beyond your means."

IRS - 'You had NO earned income last year?', 'That's what my boss said.'

No, I told you, only take rocks from the checking pile, not from the savings pile.