Anatomy Teacher Gifts

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

'Your anatomy teacher says you're a pain in the gluteus.'

'For the last time, Kevin, the footbone does not connect to the buttbone!'

"Sofia, right? You hung out in the back of Professor Dillof’s anatomy lectures."

'Whichever way you look at it gentlemen, the vagina is just one of life's big cul de sacs.'

The Juggler vein.

"Who has removed the appendix from the medical text book?"

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

The Artist

Paul Klee

'I'm in my Blue period.'

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

"I don't think I can express what I have to say in just colored paper and glue."

Instructional guide to scribbling

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

"In the beginning, God created, like, 300 concept sketches..."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

Children's artwork exhibition.

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"My homework ate my dog."

Cat with Nine Still Lives

It's a call from Tate modern.

"You're my Mona Lisa."

"You're welcome."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Misunderstood artist