Anachronistic Adventurer T-Shirts

"The British are probably coming, but it's been a busy week and they aren't feeling a hundred per cent and they'll text later."

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

No caption. (On a pirate ship various flags fly, including flags with a skull and crossbones and other banners showing logos from various social media sites. On the boat deck below, a pirate is looking at his cell phone).

"Now you can send it."

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

"Water balloons... water balloons..."

'Somehow an electronic fish finder just isn't as exciting as a 'Ben fish finder'.'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

Imagine

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

"...it's another metal detector."

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

"Hot Pocket"

'I can't wait for Power Point.'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

'I'm not sure my heart could take the excitement.'

'And so you can imagine our surprise when we discovered our hall closet was the gateway to hell!'

Spiritual Show Observed by the Grim Reaper.

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

Pub Kendo.

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

Prehistoric bikes and their advanced helmets.

'Which arrow points to my office?'

'Daddy says, 'Better drowned than duffers if not duffers won't drown'. Well, let's just hope social services don't hear about this.'

Gerald's first ever date remains on track.

"Phone, wallet, glasses... What am I forgetting?"