Anachronistic Adventurer Gifts

"The British are probably coming, but it's been a busy week and they aren't feeling a hundred per cent and they'll text later."

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"Now you can send it."

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

Imagine

'Somehow an electronic fish finder just isn't as exciting as a 'Ben fish finder'.'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"Water balloons... water balloons..."

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

"...it's another metal detector."

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

"Hot Pocket"

'I'm not sure my heart could take the excitement.'

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'And so you can imagine our surprise when we discovered our hall closet was the gateway to hell!'

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

Spiritual Show Observed by the Grim Reaper.

Pub Kendo.

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

'Which arrow points to my office?'

Prehistoric bikes and their advanced helmets.

'Daddy says, 'Better drowned than duffers if not duffers won't drown'. Well, let's just hope social services don't hear about this.'

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

"I think I've arrived at the airport too soon"