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Arthur Miller.

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

'If he's only five years old, how come he knows the words to 'See the USA in your Chevrolet'?'

'If your name's not on the Liszt, you're not coming in.'

"Herb's from Texas."

S**t Threw a Goose

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

"Let's just take one pass at it all in caps, see how it feels."

Theatrical Christmas.

A Woman's Conquests.

'Hey! Who got barbecue sauce all over the declaration?'

Lady Liberty Cools Off

Ronald Reagan

The Mime and Tabernacle Choir Singing Silent Night.

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

Early American Think Tank.

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'

"That's a nice little book. It didn't waste too much of my time."

"It's not just a special advertising section,- it's a very special advertising section."

Nostalgiaville

Grant Wood didn't like the original composition for his 'American Gothic' painting.

"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."

Yeah, last words are like snappy comeback --- You always think of the best ones after it's too late!

"L'adoration des comiques."

"Somewhere in France Balzac, the parrot, cries Yves Saint Laurent, Yves Saint Laurent, every time the doorbell rings."

World's oldest activist: 'YANKEE GO HOME, since 1919'

Abraham Lincoln snowman in front of White House.

Cut out and keep your own Carol Singer.

Man reading while being surrounded by TV's

Birth of a rhinestone cowboy.

Me, Myself & I

"I haven't read them all but I've read enough to get the general idea."