American Values Fan Gifts

Obama's America

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

Louis Armstrong.

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"I'll cross any ocean to fight for our country! I'll travel to the gates of hell to defend our rights!"

"My paper is on Paul Revere's famous ride form the standpoint of media impact across select stages of the colonial decision-making process."

'Give you liberty or give you death? That's easy for you to say. You have nine lives.'

"Lady Liberty, I choose you...ooo...ooo...oooh!"

"I have to get something off my chest—I don't know the words to the second verse of 'The Star-Spangled Banner.'"

"This is my son...I want him to work his way up all the way from the bottom- even if it takes all day."

Mt. Rushmore Spinoffs.

John Kerry

"Just how powerful of a fan did you put in your computer?"

A heat wave threatens an old woman.

Football fans in corona times

"He refuses to watch the NEWs - living as he does, in the past."

"Well, apparently a mission statement and a value statement are not the same thing."

'Beat it! I've got a computer!'

'Someone will have to row.'

Go Team!

Nathan Hale has but one egret.

Heat Wave Podium

"Mom, please take her and teach her morals, manners, and chores."

GOLDEN RULE: 'High moral fiber cereal,'

"Fred Homerson! How are you? How's the wife? The kids? The traditional family values?"

'Nice Declaration of Independence, Tom, but some of this stuff about the King might be construed as hate speech.'

'He helps keep me focused on what matters most.'

American Toddlers vs British Toddlers

Gravestones showing 'bottled milk' 'penny candy' etc

Anti-protest laws and the 1st Amendment

"Am I talent or product?"

'So you're a national bird, big deal. If you're so hot, why can't you swim?'

Very little fan fair.