American Traditions Gifts

Thanksgiving and Truthsgiving

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

"Ours is not a creative clan."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'What clan do you belong to?'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"I love these old decorations!"

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

Pearly King and Queen

Out of kilter.

'Och lye the news'

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

Our Founder picture of a caveman: 'We're a very, very old firm.'

'Here was proof that Lawrence was indeed an Englishman."

"Did you check the little patch of grass by the swing set?"

'You must be awfully secure in your masculinity.'

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

All-Candy Seder.

'This year I'm deliverying everything FedEx!'

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

'Can we move over there?'

'I'm dreaming of a green Christmas, with every recycled Christmas card I write...'

Christmas on Other Planets.

Baptism Then and Now