American Life Gifts

"Why doesn't Ken Burns make a documentary about this?"

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

Hungry child

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."