American Life Gifts

"Why doesn't Ken Burns make a documentary about this?"

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

Cow Pinatas

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.