American Landscapes Gifts

Welcome to Kansas or Some State Very Much Like It

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

Doing the borders.

Painting clouds

(Camel paintings)

Gardener Cutting Tree into 'Rock' Symbol.

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Motor Tourism

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

The Adventures of God

Maximilian could see far away places,but he never told anyone.

Hither and Yon sign

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

An alleyway leads to a scenic area.

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"Valet park only"

"This isn't helping my migraine."

'Wait, this isn't Monet's garden, it's Mondrian's.'

Nature Lovers

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

Rating the Sunset

"Oh, for Pete’s sake – it’s the ocean!"

Scenic View offers mountain with cherry on top.

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'It's just a calendar, who cares what it looks like?'

J. M. W. Turner

"I bought a fake rock to cover up this ugly rock."

Gwendolyn found herself deep in the Lake district,