American Landscapes Gifts

Welcome to Kansas or Some State Very Much Like It

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Painting clouds

(Camel paintings)

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

Doing the borders.

Gardener Cutting Tree into 'Rock' Symbol.

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Motor Tourism

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

The Adventures of God

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Hither and Yon sign

Maximilian could see far away places,but he never told anyone.

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

An alleyway leads to a scenic area.

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Nature Lovers

"Valet park only"

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

"Oh, for Pete’s sake – it’s the ocean!"

Rating the Sunset

Scenic View offers mountain with cherry on top.

"I bought a fake rock to cover up this ugly rock."

'It's just a calendar, who cares what it looks like?'

Hotel Room

J. M. W. Turner

'I seem to be on the range but 'home' is proving illusive.'