American Idol Addict Gifts

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

"Not fair! Being really into movies is my thing!"

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

'... And that's where I'm seeking planning permission to build a secret uranium enrichment plant...'

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

"He didn't slip on even one of those peels..."

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

"The doctor's running late. Feel free to catch up on your binge watching with our waiting room TV."

Goose escapes the tv.

'Bad news. Your arm is too injured to hold up those sneakers you endorse on TV.'

Chain and Ball music player.

"The DNA does not lie Mrs Miggins...or should I call you Don Escobar Bolivian drugs czar?"

'No. 5, please step forward, open your coat, and say, 'ho, ho, ho.''

Late one night at the SETI project. 'Don't make us come over there!'

Running With Scissors Marathon

"Find something dumb. Really dumb. I'm in the mood."

'We can't get enough of these makeover shows.'

Mouse policeman eats cheese from victim's trap.

Next: I'm STILL a 'D' list celebrity - sack my agent!