American Classics Fan Gifts

Louis Armstrong.

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

'Why can't we just kick Caesar upstairs?'

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

'Caesar salad?'

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

Goddess

"Is there a way to disable Narcissus' self-view?"

Virginia could tolerate the Woolf whistles no longer

'I'm worried about this new brain of scarecrows...'

Shakespeare in the clink

"That's weird. The app says to look for a Nissan Sentra."

Selfie

Love in Boom

Dante's Undiscovered Prequels

"Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by a string of great hollywood blockbusters."

"Look, you asked me what my favorite book was and it just happens to be A Farewell to Arms."

The Mother Of Damocles

Mark Twain

Seneca

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

The furies

The definitive turning point in The Great Terrier-Squirrel War was the now-famous Trojan Acorn Maneuver.

Romulus and Remus ( and their brother Derek )

"What was the Roman attitude to construction?"

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

Alexander Pope

"So we're agreed—free will exists, unless there are treats."

Greek goddess

Man asking what is a stall at the opera

Julius Caesar