Amateur Swinger Gifts

"I'm currently ranked 104,387,519th in the world."

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

I think you're ace

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

A man plays golf by the sea

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

The Amateur Golfer

'The ball never goes where I hit it.'

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

'Where's my horse?'

"You'll get your sandbox back as soon as Daddy has practiced a few bunker shots!"

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"I don't want our date to end, either, but my arm is about to fall off."

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

Thursday is the new Friday

'You've never played golf before, have you?'

'Don't ask me, I've never got one in a hole either.'

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

Golf Hil Divot

'Not only is he a good hunting dog he's a good watch dog.'

'You're away, Doc!'

Old man plays golf, supported by his caddy and paramedic.

'Grown-ups sure make playing a lot of work.'

'That takes you into double figures and we're not off the tee yet!'

'Our village cricket club' - Young spinner cleverly positions the field to take a wicket.

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

'Dad could use one of these when he's playing golf.'

"I hate sand traps."

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

'I think we'd better work on that swing.'