Amateur Magician Pillows

"If telling the truth was easy everyone would be doing it."

The Gal Who Could Tie A Know In A Cherry Stem With Her Hands

"I'm watching the dog cheat at solitaire."

'Three hearts.'

'Could you take me through it once more? From the moment you said you couldn't pay the witch doctor's fee.'

'Quit clowning about, Fred.'

A not-so-happy God coming across some Angels playing Magic tricks with their Halos.

"And this is our budgie, 'Houdini'."

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Desert Island BBQ

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

You do know it's Harry Potter who's real and JK Rowling is just one of his spells?

"I can't believe he brought her."

"I said slime."

100% carbon neutral

Broomstick crash.

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

Kiddies Menu for Witches

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

Rocket and Witch Race

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"I just need help getting the pit out."

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

Witch's Brew.

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

'Take two eyes of newt, and call me in the morning.'

Magic Tricks

I tried working with Houdini, but he wanted me to escape from a straight-jacket before jumping out of the hat...

Juggler and Illusionist