Amateur Diviner T-Shirts

"I'm telling you, these drinks have been watered down"

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"I'm watching the dog cheat at solitaire."

Back in my day, we were drawn with ink on paper, not on some fancy digital pad, but at least we knew we existed.

'Quit clowning about, Fred.'

"Darling, I never realised how talented you weren't!"

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"That's not the stick, it's a blood-stained satchel full of money... but hey, good boy!"

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

Optician and the PI.

Young lady telling a young man he is not singing low enough.

'Our ultrasound equipment is not working, so we've brought in famed psychic Jennifer Armstrong to give us a vision of the fetus.'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

'It's my new fortune e-reader.'

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

'What's the use? Everyone has his own PC future-probability program these days.'

"Where should we target our advertising dollars? "Hold on, I'm checking my website."

"I'm getting dangerously close to figuring out what I did last night."

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

"It's going to snow! Is that it?"

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

End of world nigh!!!

'People say I don't listen to other's opinions. That's not true, is it Binky?'

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

"Sorry, water in my ears! What was that?...sharp?...spark?"

"Sorry about the disguise.But we've had to reduce our budget for the 'witness protection programme'."