Amateur Chef For Animals Pillows

Cat and dog shop for their favourite foods.

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

Too much cilantro

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'Why do I need to clean the fish? -- Didn't you just take them out of the WATER?'

"Your meal sounded nice."

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

Cat Cooking Bird.

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

'You want to see a list of ingredients? -- Are you trying to make trouble?'

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

Recipes.

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

Homemade dog biscuits.

"We need to put in more bones."

"Honey, I’ll take over. The stir-fry has suffered long enough."

'The casserole didn't make it.'

'I thought too many cooks spoiled the broth.'

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

Recipes.

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

"Hmmm ... either my steak knife is broken, or you cooked the heck out of this fillet."

'It was embarrassing. I always swore I'd die of her cooking.'

"And when I get to this fancy French restaurant, will they be glad to see me?"

Books - 'Cooking a duck' & 'Ducking a cook'.

"At what point did my Boeuf Bourguignonne become a pejorative beef stew?"