Amateur Archaeology Gifts

Mudlarking

"...it's another metal detector."

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

'You and Rags working together make great dinosaur finders.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

'That's far enough for the first trip -- gather some soil samples and initiate re-entry procedures.'

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

Reinventing the Wheel

“If they were huggers like us they would have evolved useful arms.”

For the last time, Bobby, I told you – every other person gets the red cup with the placebo. Lemonade 50¢.

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

This will really mess with their minds someday.

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

'This 'Palestine' place you're giving to us - Will we have the mineral rights?'

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

"Y a un truc bizarre."

'It seems a lot of trouble to go through just to sharpen a razor blade.'

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

Dept of Egyptology - Toot and Come In.

The inscription says: 'Whiter teeth; fresher breath.'

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

"That's not the stick, it's a blood-stained satchel full of money... but hey, good boy!"

Optician and the PI.

"No, first you have to evolve into a man, then you can have a man-cave."

"I'm getting dangerously close to figuring out what I did last night."

"Whoa, I guess dad and mom didn’t send Scraps off to live on a farm after all."

An association for the advancement of science on an excursion.

Gracie tries to invent a shrinking spray and squirts Baldo with it.

"Gracie, I'm getting way tired of your Jane Goodall routine!"

'I roll it ahead of me, and anything it hits goes into my famous Road Kill Stew.'

I admit, this discovery does seem to support the asteroid theory.