Always-distracted Friend Gifts

"You really need to prioritize the things you say."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"No, it's not a bug. Since you keep losing you phone, I purchased you a phone-locating drone."

'Remember the...um...the...uh...oh, yeah...remember the Alamo!'

How to correctly estimate cooking time

Aging Support Group

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

'You see doctor I've been increasingly Forgetful.'

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

"I did my 10,000 steps by looking for my reading glasses."

'I've got it written down...'

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

"Harold! Don't forget to get the eggs!"

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

"Tom, did you forget to feed the pets tonight?"

Amnesia Clinic: "Take one of these pills whenever you remember to."

Man with 'low memory' on his phone and his head

'I don't remember ever having a good memory.'

"I'll help you find your glasses after I find my horn."

"For the last time - do not call me when I'm pretending to work."

"May I borrow your glasses so I can find my glasses?"

'Do you have anything for absent-mindedness?'

"They need to come up with an app that will locate your glasses."

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

"I can't remember where we're going."

"What an awful morning. I left home without my phone."

"Oh, that reminds me of this article I barely remember."

'Oh flips! I've forgot me anvil again!'

'You've left your laptop at the office.' - 'Why didn't you tell me before I left?' - 'Great... an extra hour of pointlessness to round off my day...' - 'You've left your power supply at the office.' - 'Right.'

"Can't you read? Our shipment is late."

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'

"Ever since I changed Siri to a male he's been forgetting birthdays and anniversaries."

Procrastinator's Leap.