Altitude Avoider T-Shirts

'Because it's here and not 29,000 sodding feet up in the Himalayas, that's why!'

Good News about winter

"If we ca change our altitude we can change out attitude."

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

Planting a Flag on the Summit

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

'I thought we'd never break through those clouds!'

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

"Ever since the elevator broke down, we've learned that our staff is in desperate need of a fitness program. Especially, since we're only one floor up."

A skier and a paraglider

''Because It's There' got us up here...you have any ideas how we get back down?'

Mr. Macho at the game... and after the game is over.

"You are Here" sign on mountain.

"I do diet...between snacks."

"It's the part about 60 take-offs and 54 landings that worries us."

'You're going to have to drop out if you want to graduate.'

"Apparently, my self-driving car doesn't like driving in the snow, because it took it upon itself to drive 1,200 miles to somewhere warm while I wasn't paying attention."

"Everest summit 1 km merge left"

The Hot Air Sports Club AGM

"A Clif Bar wrapper? That's why you dragged me up here?!"

Man to man: 'I turned down a raise because I'm afraid of heights.'

The Top and The Tippy-top (mountain climbing)

"Because we're jerks."

"You see, I told you it was worth the climb! Your first 'bird's eye view'. . ."

'It's a hell of a climb but it's worth it!'

'It doesn't matter, Mr. Katz — you're overweight standard or metric.'

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

Clipping

'He hasn't done anything yet, it's just with all this gear on, he can't stand up!'

Everest summit queue...

'Beautiful day out there, folks. Don't miss it. Complete coverage, coming up next.'

How to Tell when You're Asking for Directions from a NASCAR Fan: 'Make a left, then hang a left, take another left followed by a left...'

'You imbecile!! Didn't i tell you to watch our altitude?! / A co-pilot accidentally flies too high ending up in heaven and smacking into an angel

Paratrooper School.

Dear valued customer - Due to a defect in the parachute you purchased from us, it fails to open in midair. Just FYI. Bring it to us for an adjustment at your earliest convenience. Have a nice day.