Alternative Therapy Skeptic Gifts

Acupuncture darts.

"He said he couldn't help me unless I hurt all over."

New Age Auto Repair

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

Self help acupuncture

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"I'm putting you on country music."

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

Low self esteem workshop - 'You missed it. It finished two hours ago, you useless pillock.'

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 in the evening should cure your broken heart,,,'

A shrink charges $200 an hour, but double chocolate layer cake is only $19.95.

Psychiatry. Ordinary therapeutic techniques have been unsuccessful, but I have a crazy idea that just might work!

"I don't think this is doing me any good."

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

'Extreme acupuncture.'

"He went to an alternative therapy seminar to find ways of reducing his stress levels..."

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

Therapy Group For Those Who Are Afraid of Therapy Groups

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

'Got anything for a headache?'

Acupuncture - Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"Sorry. No refunds."

'I was in the circus before I took up acupuncture.'

"I used to think that hypnotherapy was a pseudo-science but Phil has convinced me otherwise."

New Age Anatomy...

"We're making exiting advances in alternative car care."

Acupunture Clinic opens next to a Ballon Animal shop.

'Therapy and medications are not the only options for your obsessive behavior.'

'I'm not coming here again Doctor Melrose. I'd rather talk to my plants.'

2013: psychoanalysis is formally declared a scam.

I heard you've to an awful, mysterious pain in the side of your face. Yeah. You can try the modern approach, drug yourself silly so you don't feel the pain. You know a better way, Sadie? Well, in your case, I'd suggest going with the tried and true cure-all: Drill a hole in your head to let out the demons. No need. You're already out. That's ... Well-played, nemesis. Well-played.

That was refreshing. My long, sad story? No, my nap.

"Mr. Dinsdale - come back!"