Therapy Skeptics Gifts

"I don't think this is doing me any good."

'My wife thinks I should see a therapist to determine why I think I don't need therapy.'

It wasn't going well.

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Licensed Therapist

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Couples' therapy

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

'We have three minutes left.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"You need to stop bottling it up."

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

'On the plus side, I give my thanks this Thanksgiving that I'm not a turkey. On the minus side...'

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

"Has it ever occurred to you just to say, 'Hey, I quit. I don't want to be a part of the food chain anymore'?"