Therapy Curious Gifts

'The therapy is working... I don't use all caps in emails anymore.'

'Can you do something for my teenage son? He's afraid of hard work.'

"Sure I'm Alfred the Great now, but in high school I couldn't get a date."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Licensed Therapist

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"Postwar is hell."

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Couples' therapy

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

X-ray Psychology.

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'I hate Mondays.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'We have three minutes left.'

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"