Alternative Education Gifts

"I believe that's a Montessori school."

'Actually this is a very experimental college. We have no curriculum and no classes. How it works, essentially, is if you want to learn something, you go someplace and you learn it.'

'Look - a Steiner school.'

'Being home-schooled means I can be a runaway and a dropout at the same time.'

'Roger was home schooled, so it was only natural that he wound up working at home.'

End school zone. Start unschool zone.

"I don't think we can approve you for homeschooling your child based on the fact that you signed your application with an 'X'."

University of Hard Knocks

"We homeschool."

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

Pajama Day 743

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Vegetarian Birds

"...then finally, I got serious and started a band."

The Mainstream

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

REPENT! Get back to nature

"You're telling me I should leave the artists' commune that saved me from my stepmother's tyrannical elitism, where I have seven boyfriends, to become the impotent figurehead of another unjust power structure?"

'Relax, dad, I haven't been in a classroom for months because all my college classes are online!'

"Wait a minute, is that toad I taste? I told you I've gone vegan, Cynthia!"

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

'I have one last question: this beach is clothing optional, right?'

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

"I beg to differ."

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

"Do you see what you are doing to your mother?"

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

"Oh, it's always something now he wants to become a vegetarian."

Somewhere in France - John O'Dowd jests away his junior year abroad