Alternative Education Provocateur Gifts

"I don't think we can approve you for homeschooling your child based on the fact that you signed your application with an 'X'."

"I believe that's a Montessori school."

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

End school zone. Start unschool zone.

University of Hard Knocks

"Shows you how much I know."

Sweet Girl Graduates

'We lost your case, but the PR was a success. Three publishers are bidding on your story, and 30 PTAs are petitioning to have the book banned.'

When Democrats Win, Democrats Win

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

'You expect me to play with educational toys during SUMMER VACATION?'

"I'm Miss Jones, your History-As-I-See-It teacher."

'Roger was home schooled, so it was only natural that he wound up working at home.'

"We're home-enlightening him."

"I'm afraid we don't offer student loans to elementary school pupils."

"If everyone is gonna get a universal basic income, what is the point of getting good grades?"

Do we have to know all the letters? I don't use them all when I text.

'I was home schooled. It stands for 'Master of Bedmaking and Aerobic housecleaning'.'

Banned Books

"The second I turn 16 I'm joining a conservative political party and then I'll be able to do whatever I want!"

'Actually this is a very experimental college. We have no curriculum and no classes. How it works, essentially, is if you want to learn something, you go someplace and you learn it.'

How teachers decide what school supplies kids need to buy.

'Being home-schooled means I can be a runaway and a dropout at the same time.'

"And that's when she found out her master's degree only qualified her for an entry level position."

"I thought we were hosting a group of parents who wanted to complain about critical race theory and sex education. . ."

'I'm home early. Due to budget cuts, the school district is laying off students.'

'Look - a Steiner school.'

'Welcome, sir?we've heard wonderful things about your accounting methods!'

"Someday I'll hire lots of smart people to work for me."

'My brother hates school. He won't read in captivity.'

St.Titanics primary, "It's a sink school."

"We can't say they aren't learning. Twenty three of them have learned to call in sick."

Dannemora School for Exceptional & Gifted Felons.