Alphabet Soup Detective Gifts

Murdered man spells out his murderer in alphabet soup.

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"I'm still pre-literate."

"Letters would be all right if they'd just let us leave them in alphabetical order."

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup, sir - Too many censorship problems.'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"...L...uh, M...uh Q...how come there are so many darn letters in the alphabet anyway?"

"But this book is just the alphabet all jumbled up..."

"Our menu never claims that our meat is barbecued. It just says that it's covered in barbecue sauce."

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

"By the way, there is only one 'L' in 'over-qualified'."

'Sorry.. I don't date lower-case types.'

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

"Any clues?"

'This isn't soup of the day. Today's Tuesday.'

'Think Basics.'

"This can't be soup....where are all the little letters that usually float in it?"

'There seems to be no end to his talent.'

'There's a lamb chop in my soup.' - 'Oh, that's where it got to. It belongs to table six.'

"How come people die in alphabetical order...?"

'Alphabet soup. This isn't nutrition. It's education.'

Punch Initials - P

'The Writer'