Alphabet Soup Detective Pillows

Murdered man spells out his murderer in alphabet soup.

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"I'm still pre-literate."

"Letters would be all right if they'd just let us leave them in alphabetical order."

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup, sir - Too many censorship problems.'

"...L...uh, M...uh Q...how come there are so many darn letters in the alphabet anyway?"

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

"But this book is just the alphabet all jumbled up..."

"Our menu never claims that our meat is barbecued. It just says that it's covered in barbecue sauce."

'Sorry.. I don't date lower-case types.'

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

Foodies at a Diner. We'll have the alphabet soup, unless it's Helvetica or Times New Roman.

Bureau of the Budget. If we serve alphabet soup, we can count it as a lunch program and a literacy program!

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

"By the way, there is only one 'L' in 'over-qualified'."

"Any clues?"

'This isn't soup of the day. Today's Tuesday.'

'There seems to be no end to his talent.'

"This can't be soup....where are all the little letters that usually float in it?"

'Think Basics.'

Ernie, what's a seven-letter phrase for "sadistic behavior"? Beats me.

Punch Initials - P

'Hey! We can play Scrabble while we eat!'

'There's a lamb chop in my soup.' - 'Oh, that's where it got to. It belongs to table six.'

CIA Cafeteria. There's no code to break, Ernie --- It's alphabet soup.

"How come people die in alphabetical order...?"

'The Writer'