Alpha Trainer Gifts

Man Bites Dog...

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Quick, start the car!"

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Houston - you will Not believe this!"

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"Any questions?"

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

'He's not supposed to go out.'

Litter Tray Training

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Perils of the double play.

Hanging off every word...

Cat Show

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

Quality Control