Alpha Trainer Pillows

Man Bites Dog...

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Quick, start the car!"

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Houston - you will Not believe this!"

"Any questions?"

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

Litter Tray Training

'He's not supposed to go out.'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Perils of the double play.

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

Hanging off every word...

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

Quality Control