Trainer Pillows

"The kid's good."

"What an amazing view!"

We find this model works better for us!

Plain English group.

"This concludes my lecture on non-verbal communication. Any comments or questions?"

'It appears to be some sort of staff development presentation.'

'Wow, excellent turnout.'

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

"He hasn't finished his 'communicating with staff in a sensitive and empathic manner' module yet."

'Nobody turned up to the 'effective communications' seminar...they didn't get our memo.'

Active listening, session 1 "I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd hoped,three of them misheard the date,five got the time wrong and everyone in sales went to a hotel in Scarborough by mistake."

"When do the training wheels come off?"

'There are no stupid questions, so let's also agree there are no stupid answers.'

"Why don't you try learning from your own mistakes?"

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

'He's not finished his 'communicating with empathy' training.'

'Having done the mentoring skills questionnaire I think I need a mentor to mentor me in improving my mentoring.'

"When I said to convince him of the need for change I was hoping you'd use the seductive power of reason and logic!"

'I thought you could help me fill in the details.'

"Tim, there's more to coaching than trying to get everyone to be just like you!"

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"I'm afraid the turnout isn't as high as we'd hoped, three of them misheard the date; five got the time wrong and everyone from sales went to a hotel in Scarborough by mistake!"

"Jump!" Performance management.

"I'm afriad we had to cancel the 'perfect planning ' seminar. We forgot to book the hotel until it was to late and the speaker we hoped to use died in 1958."

Etiquette and the mobile phone - "Oh hi. I'm on a training course."

'Is it my imagination or are entrepreneurs getting younger.'

'Before we begin I need to inform you that the computers in this row are not working and some of the passwords are not being accepted by all the computers.'

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

'Not me. You go tell him it's misspelled.'

"Who said you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

'Mentoring requires many sophisticates qualities and skills...'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

Quality Control

'Well,just by looking around I can tell that you haven't taken full advantage of the many staff training opportunities available to you.'

'We'll skip that rubbish.'