Aloha Ambassador T-Shirts

Aloha!

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Israel/Palestine Conflict

"Are you OK hun?"

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

Michael Jackson - Mission fulfilled.

The ecumenical dinner party.

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

"Oceans are rising, landmass is shrinking - so far so good."

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

Are you interested in UFOs? Advanced life forms? Free medical screenings? Alternative underwear? Snacks and refreshments? Non-sexual turtles? Reverse pound cake? Science? Join us.

Nuclear Proliferation

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

'...It's O.K. hon', it's just the third world.'

Nato Membership

Chief Foreign Policy Advisor to President Obama.

Militant Pacifists

"I'm OK. But I think the dog wants to go out."

EU

The Further Temptations of Kenneth Starr

Diplomacy Between Cuba and US

"Mr. Macron, Mr. Draghi. Welcome to Kiev! Why didn't you bring Mr. Scholz with you?"

Surfing kangaroo #1 Hawaiian shirt.

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

More Excuses to Stay in Afghanistan

Vacancy at the Ecuadoran Embassy

While playing fetch, Beasle inadvertently set back interplanetary relations for millennia.

"I'll abandon my medium-and shorter-range missiles if you'll abandon yours."

"Why did you start this war, you lousy, democracy-obsessed Nazi!"

'Heeheehee! My guests will love it!'

Diplomats in the form of doormats

"No note!? With no note, sending our envoy's head back in a box could mean anything!"