Alma Mater Enthusiast Pillows

Brown - But My First Choice Was Yale.

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Welcome to the Team

Scarcity

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

A Preschool of Fish

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

'At first it's just kindergarten, but then mission creep takes over and you're in college.'

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

'In conclusion, I hope you all go out there, get well-paying jobs, and give lots of tax-deductible gifts to our alumni fund.'

Max Weber

Abacus.

"Nice to have you all back at school, tap-tap, there are lessons to learn."

The History Teacher

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

'Success in business door' - keep your finger on the button doorbell.

End of Affirmative Action

Ethics ethics.

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."