Academia Enthusiast Pillows

'We've decided to support you for the rest of your life. It's cheaper than sending you to college.'

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

'That should be good for quite a few doctoral dissertations in the future.'

"You want proof? I'll give you proof!"

"I'm sorry Professor, but you know too much!"

'At least you know I'm not cheating.'

'There'll be a slight delay. The chef is cramming for his nutrition finals.'

"See, Mom? I'm not such a know-it-all."

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Ethics exam cheater.

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

Eternal Student.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Continuing education.

Scarcity

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

Calculation Board - You Are Here

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"Ah, ha! The universe IS expanding! I can't find my glasses anywhere!"

'So what are you studying, young man?'

Now showing, at a University near you...

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

'Simply put.'