Academia Admirer Pillows

Sherlock Holmes gets back at Professor Moriarty through reduced research funding.

"If you insist on giving me a gift for being accepted into Oxford, I could use a new DVD player...gift wrapped in a BMW."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Scientists are sexy

Robocop and Juliet.

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

Robot walking pet robot

First Prize!

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

"This next song is about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Red hot little combo

"No, this is 111110100111101111 ... you want 111110100111101101."

"A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer."

Robot Cats - Cleaner, don't shed, and they're programmable.

'All I did was to connect an artificial heart to artificial legs, to an artificial kidney, to...'

The Thinker

"Is that one of those cars that tells you when it needs maintenance?"

We learn by doing

Machine consciousness - a robot thinking. The thought is in the form of a printed circuit board. The robot is a clockwork toy robot, to emphasise the infancy of the concepts involved

Faust

AI Toaster: "What's Einstein's famous equation?"

'Very impressive. Do you have any post-kindergarten education?'

"There's the mailman!"

'Oh, God I have to talk to a *****! Human!'

"I can't help thinking there's a book in this."

'All the guys like Sophie. She has a touch screen.'

"Robot waiters are OK, but I just wish they wouldn't hover so."

"I won't date an AI engineer unless he can pass the Turing test."

"Now that I've acquired consciousness, I feel very self-conscious."