Allegory Enthusiast Gifts

"Poetry would be way more accessible if they just said what they meant."

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

Sometimes it's easy to see if a swamp creature is on vacation.

"I believe I you, Bigfoot."

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

'Lance, what does 'NSFW' stand for?'

'Are we here-there-be yet?'

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

At the end of the rainbow

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

"Nemesisyphus"

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

Mermaid reads sleeping tourists book.

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

'That looks tempting.'

"She introduces herself as Drosophila Melanogaster, but everyone knows she's just a common fruit fly."

'Look Dad - bigfoot!'

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

"My Lord, you said you'd walk with me, but I only see one set of footprints."

Metaphors.

"So that's Ireland."

'It's King Midas... Quick, take the signs down!'

"Have you noticed, after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF?"

Phoenix

'What do you think of as you great achievements?'

"I'd like to see you cut back to eating only two, three ships a day."

'Grandpa, tell us again about you and Great-Grandpa William.'

"How does the stork figure into this?"

"I don't really believe in the tooth fairy anymore, but if it pays, I play!"

'It isn't polite to point.'

If you want full cover for your cat I suggest you take out the nine lives policy.

'Oh, hey, relax, I'm not here to take you! I've outsourced all that work long ago. I'm now strictly on the administrative end.'

'As President of the Annoying Saying Society, just let me say,,,,,enjoy,'