Allegory Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Poetry would be way more accessible if they just said what they meant."

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

Sometimes it's easy to see if a swamp creature is on vacation.

"I believe I you, Bigfoot."

'Are we here-there-be yet?'

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

'Lance, what does 'NSFW' stand for?'

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

At the end of the rainbow

"Nemesisyphus"

Mermaid reads sleeping tourists book.

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

'That looks tempting.'

"She introduces herself as Drosophila Melanogaster, but everyone knows she's just a common fruit fly."

"My Lord, you said you'd walk with me, but I only see one set of footprints."

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

'Look Dad - bigfoot!'

"So that's Ireland."

'It's King Midas... Quick, take the signs down!'

Metaphors.

"I'd like to see you cut back to eating only two, three ships a day."

'Grandpa, tell us again about you and Great-Grandpa William.'

Phoenix

"I don't really believe in the tooth fairy anymore, but if it pays, I play!"

"Have you noticed, after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF?"

'What do you think of as you great achievements?'

"How does the stork figure into this?"

'It isn't polite to point.'

If you want full cover for your cat I suggest you take out the nine lives policy.

'Oh, hey, relax, I'm not here to take you! I've outsourced all that work long ago. I'm now strictly on the administrative end.'